Keep Out of Area 407!

Area 407 (2012, Dale Fabrigar and Everette Wallin)

The trailer for Area 407 (a.k.a. Tape 407: The Mesa Reserve Incident) indeed looks like familiar "found footage" territory, but I'll admit I thought it looked creepy enough to give it a shot.  The hook (plane crash survivors tormented by unseen predators) seemed a whole lot like Blair Witch meets Lost, which sounds like a purdy good mash-up.  Unfortunately, this is yet another sad example of a fantastic horror concept crappily executed, and another nail in the first-person-cam coffin.

The movie starts out with some standard "found footage"  opening text explaining that the tape we are about to see is totally real, and it's totally wrong that we are going to watch it.  Bad viewers.

Once the camera starts recording, we are introduced to our first narrator, pre-teen Trish (Abigail Schrader), and her big sister, Jessie (Samantha Lester).   They're boarding a red-eye flight on NYE, filming the other passengers (ya know, so we can get to know who's who before they're dispatched), and chatting with everyone. Already, Area 407 is committing its first FF sin:  these kids are fucking annoying.  Sure, I've seen worse acting in half the FF onslaught of the last decade, but it isn't that the acting is so horrible.  The characters are beyond obnoxious, to the point where it's difficult to watch.  Especially Trish.  It doesn't help that the actress portraying her has a very high, nasally voice that sounds whiny even when she's not whining.  If you can't at least care a little about the characters in a FF film, then it's not going to be effective.  Apparently, the movie was shot quickly over a few days and most of the dialogue was improvised, which could explain our character problem here.

Before the flight takes off, we meet the other characters via TrishCam.  We have the standard drunk scenemaking a-hole, the calm and collected flight attendant, a dude who spends way too much time engaging in conversation with the girls, and the lady sitting next to him who is apparently his wife or something, but who knows?  These actors really are that bad at ad-libbing.   Soon, the pilot announces bad weather, and they encounter major turbulence, passengers are flailing about, and the camera goes out.  

When the camera comes back on, we're in the aftermath of the crash.  Only half the plane remains, and the few survivors (i.e., all the folks we met in the opening sequence) are gathering near a wooded area, bloodied and frantic.  Cue the bickering.  Charlie, the narcissistic drunk, freaks out.  Trish whines more.  The flight attendant puts on her "look, it is my responsibility to protect everyone here because I'm the flight attendant!" face.  I'm pretty sure she doesn't get paid enough for that, but whatever.  Somebody turns out to be an air marshal for whatever reason. These one-note characters sound like a bunch of broken records playing at the same time as they argue.  The actors and filmmakers are probably trying to summon Romero here, so they would have been better off with a well written script instead of improv.  Using the camera for light at this point makes sense, so the gimmick can still be justified...but then Jessie takes over on filming duties, which means the audience is not only stuck to listening to Trish's voice, but also looking at the painful faces that go along with the whining.

Soon, our goofy band of survivors hear an unsettling roaring and scuffling coming from the trees.  Before you can say "smoke monster!" they're being attacked by the unseen predator.  During the attack sequences, we're treated to a slight glimpse of teeth here, a claw there, a flick of a tail.  We don't know what the monster is, we just know it likes to kill.  They run into the woods, and eventually find an abandoned desert town, where they hole up in a shack, fending off the predators, and hoping to be rescued.  

There are a few scenes in the film that are creepy, but most of those scenes don't actually involve the attack sequences, which are mostly silly in their execution.  The eerie moments happen when the group ventures out into the darkness, hopelessly fleeing their attackers.  There are also some unsettling moments where they think they've been rescued.  These are the scenes that require no FX and no over-acting.  If the film had been able to pull off more of these sequences, it might have been a better film.  Sadly, there isn't much else to rave about here.  The obligatory "whoops, sorry I accidentally killed you in my panicked state!" human error scenes are chuckle-worthy.  Characters are dispatched or written-off with almost amusing nonchalance.  When the mystery is (sorta) resolved, we're treated to an eyeroll of a plot twist followed up some hideous FX.  Area 407 is ultimately one of those frustrating viewing experiences where I got progressively more irritated only because they blew such an awesome premise.

The film will be released by IFC (which has unexpectedly become the biggest name in the modern horror distribution game--stay tuned for a future post on that) under their Midnight label in August, but can currently be viewed On Demand, along with several other upcoming IFC releases.  I'd say skip it and watch the very similar FF fright flick The Hunt.

My Rating: 3 Whiny Brats out of 10.